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Regatta Week


Fanny, Florence and Felicity are watching the first leg of the Captain’s Cup. Their older brother Chubbs is not having his best day at the helm. From the beach it looks as though his spinnaker has caught on his jib and consequently all hell is breaking loose on his poop deck.


In between the action the sisters are discussing the fact that the regatta just isn’t the same this year. After their boarding schools were all named & shamed on Everyone’s Invited none of the boys are even up for a late night snog outside The Crab Shack, let alone a fumble in the sand dunes, and frankly the girls are really missing the après-sail action.


In the good old days, they had always started their summer evenings with Apple Sour shots at The Bosun’s Arms, but the pub didn't survive the Covid years either, and has now been replaced by The Good, The Bread & The Ugly – a non GM field to fork vegan café & farm shop. Florence likes to tell everyone that the apples sold on the premises are still sour, it’s just that you can’t down them in one.


Still, the girls have always been happy to make their own entertainment during Regatta Week. This year the focus of their attention has been Chubb’s school pal Finlay Teignley Drake – an absolute ‘sort’ who happens to have bagged himself the job of Beach Lifeguard for the summer. The public at large have no idea how Finlay can spot a swimmer in trouble with that ridiculous fringe permanently in his eyes, but of course the girls are far more concerned with his ripped abs than with the bay’s rip tides.


Fanny, Flo & Flic have decided that their best hope of some mouth to mouth this summer is taking some thoroughly unseaworthy inflatables out on the surf whilst Finlay is on duty. Florence has therefore invested in a giant unicorn, Felicity has acquired a watermelon slice, and Fanny is delighted with her sprinkle covered doughnut. All they have to do now is watch for the first sign of swell then its bonnets off and into the foam in the hope of a romantic rescue.


Finlay, meanwhile, on his lifeguard's ladder, is anxiously trying to remember that saying about the devil and deep blue sea, and wishing he had taken the bar job at the golf club instead.



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